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Raging Heart March 26, 2016

Hi all 🙂

I had a suuuuper long post written to post for someone but I realised that perhaps it was a bit too personal to post online, so I’m going to analyse song lyrics instead.

This one is Raging Heart (a.k.a. My Heart is Cursing or 가슴이 욕해) by Kim Dong Wook, from the Korean series You’re Beautiful (which I’ve recently rewatched for the 5th time… ^^’)

Lyrics were taken from http://lulutnilot.blogspot.co.uk/ – I take no credit for the translation and do check them out 🙂

I always seem to find lyrics that I can relate to – it’s a really good feeling because you suddenly feel a connection with the singer, almost as if you’re not alone when you say you like someone. This song would always play during sad, intense moments in the drama, and at the beginning it would always make me cry. I’d never seen the lyrics translated till now so it was amazing to see how relatable they were.

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“Smile more often, so that with your happy smile I can calm my heart from constantly looking at you.”

Sometimes, I glance at you. Those glances often turn into stares. Your smile is different to everyone elses – not because you have a different mouth but because it means more to me.

“Smile more often, so that the world will be jealous of you. Then my heart, which is constantly calling you, wouldn’t turn greedy anymore.”

I’m already jealous when you’re with others, so perhaps smiling more isn’t the solution… but my heart does call for you. It’s greedy for sure. It’s been calling you for more than a year now – I wonder when you’ll hear?

“My heart is cursing because it can’t say ‘I love you’. Tears burst and my yearning is flowing and flowing… the sad words that are stuck in my throat like a thorn are roaming around my ear all day.”

I’m really scared of rejection. Even if you ignore the fact that I like you, my intentions are always to please and to be appreciated – however obnoxious or narcissistic it may sound. I don’t tend to cry because of you, because you bring more happiness than sadness. I don’t tend to cry much anyway – it’s only when I watch films/dramas or someone shouts at me that tears begin to prick at my eyes. The sad words stuck in my throat really are like thorns… they hurt.

“Why does it have to be you? Why did I end up loving you? Even if I am shaking my head, even if I try to deny it, now I can’t let go of you.”

Yeah – why does it have to be you? Why not someone else? I know why I ended up liking you, because due to certain circumstances we ended up in places closer than I ever would’ve imagined. If you asked me whether I loved you or not, I would probably say no. Cause I’m like that.

“I love you, I love you forever… even if you aren’t looking at me.”

Sometimes I do feel that you’re looking at me. But that being said, I am overly delusional and do enjoy a good bit of fantasising (no r-rated stuff don’t worry), so I could be biased…

“You wouldn’t know even if I called you thousands of times. You wouldn’t know even if I wait at the same place. Like a fool I just look at you, this foolish love. You don’t know, no matter how much I call you.”

That’s very true. You only see me as a friend and there’s no reason for you to see otherwise – I don’t make it terribly obvious that I like you, at least I think I don’t… I’m a fool, for continuing this for so long despite the pain. Well you know what? I came to the conclusion long ago that the pain I got from being near you was more bearable than the pain being without you – and even though it might hurt, the happiness outweighs it by much more.

~~~

In conclusion… well I don’t know really. There isn’t a conclusion to this because there isn’t an end. I can temporarily stop liking you but we all know that in years to come, you’ll still be the person I remember as sweet, funny, pretty, loveable, clever and so much more… This was more of a ‘write down your thoughts’ post. If you have anything to say in response, I’d love to hear your thoughts too 🙂

WISDOMSTAR123 – MAKING LIFE WISDOMY AND STARRY

Song of the Post ~ You Are My Spring by Sung Sikyung (Secret Garden OST)

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